What would you do if you were me? I got a note on Facebook from another entrepreneur who assumed I was a liar and dropped me from her group before even getting my response. Poor emotional intelligence.

There are so many examples of poor emotional intelligence floating around but I hate to point the finger at someone else. However, if a perfect example from my own life happens, I think that is fair game.

I talked about the 4 pillars of emotional intelligence earlier. Empathy, social awareness and relationship-building are critical for us as entrepreneurs. It goes beyond being friendly to truly considering what the other person is feeling or needing in that moment.

High EQ for Clients & Entrepreneurs

Of course, you want to have high EQ with clients, meaning that you can identify and manage their emotions and act accordingly.

Think about your favorite hairdresser, massage therapist, chiropractor that you’ve followed through several moves. What keeps you going back? That service professional has high EQ. She or he can anticipate and meet your needs in a way others simply can’t. They get you.

High EQ Entrepreneurs (HEQE)

I find that HEQEs are:

great listeners
very observant
richly imaginative
highly empathetic
good at relationship-building

You also want to have high emotional intelligence with colleagues and entrepreneurs too.

Although Americans love the myth of the self-made man, no one actually makes it alone. Your success depends on others even when you’re a one-person show. It’s super important to show fellow entrepreneurs the honesty, respect and trust you’d like to receive. We have all ‘been there’ and that’s something to be honored.

You know what it’s like to work extra hard and not get the results you were expecting.
You know the late nights and sacrifices that go into building a business.
You know the rollercoaster emotions that come with the title boss.

Your EQ has to be pitched a little higher with fellow business owners.

Your Assignment

I got a whopper of a note on Facebook recently. Yeah, the one I mentioned earlier. I’m taking it as an invitation to explore good EQ with you by picking apart an example of poor EQ. Feels like a productive way to get over being angry and get an upside to an ugly note.

Let’s look at the note below (identifying info crossed out) to see where there is high EQ+ and where there EQ is low –

Instructions: To make it easy, just put + or – plus the words you want to reference from the note, i.e. + I like you -Please give me info on this

Next Wednesday, I’ll comment on your responses and share where I see opportunities to do this monologue differently.
(Hint: There’s your first sign of poor EQ. It’s not a conversation, it’s a monologue)

Tell me where is the writer doing a good job connecting and considering the feelings of the reader and where could she do better? What do you think she was feeling as she wrote this note?


Dina Lynch Eisenberg, JD, is the CEO of OutsourceEasier.com, an outsourcing training/consulting firm for successful lawyers and entrepreneurs based in Oakland, CA.

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